The week after Spring Break...

HERE IS THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!!!

Forgive me in advance, I'm running on 5 hours of sleep and this girl does not do well without sleep...things might get a little crazy. And, I was drinking wine until 1 am. Did I mention I work at 6:30 in the morning? Good life decisions. OH, and as I'm writing this I will probably eat an entirely sleeve of Thin Mints. Yes, I know it's 8:30 in the morning. Do I care? nahhh.

SO the hype all last week was everyone is on spring break! woot. But what I care about is the week AFTER spring break. Yes, you might be super tan because you just came back from Florida but now you're back at school and you can tell how many people it truly affects. 50% more people are riding the struggle bus to class...yeah it's probably a good thing you got that tan because you forgot to brush your  hair? oops. So anyway, most people are still adjusting from their time away from school but  me...I'm on my A game. My comments are whitty as all get out and I've been feeling quite spritely all week.

My first spritely moment of the week...encounters with JSM. I've come to terms with our mother-daughter relationship but I really took it public this week. After she instructed our group to "not be sluts" I couldn't resist my comments. Usually I can filter in my head what I'm about to say but not this week. I hope I had a motive to actually say this but I really can't remember it...anyway, I told her she was the reason I drank. You can all laugh now but WAIT, her comeback was good. She told me I was the reason she had grey hair. Impressed? I really was, didn't know she had it in her. So put that on your list of things to NOT say to professors. IT GETS BETTER. Never use the phrase "pretty is as pretty does" around your best friend that has known you since you were 7 because it only ends badly. You'll probably have it followed by "Is that your philosophy on life Lauren, is that why you're allowed to be mean?" YUP. THAT HAPPENED. As I wanted to turn around and call her a really nasty word I remember that I was surrounded by oh I dunno, 3 people that don't want to hear me say that word. So I turn around silently and moved on with my life. Winning? Not so much.

I just thought my blog was gone because my computer turned off...I FOUND IT! It's gonna be a good day friends.

Maybe I'll just get a Pinterest...Oh, those Thin Mints...gone.

I'll just move on to my next thought...the opposite sex. Now usually I don't have many problems in this department because I complete alienate myself from all encounters but this week has gotten pretty strange. If you're gonna text me and call me a stupid pet name like "honey" (ew, gag)...the least you can do is spell is right. What is "hunny"? I don't get it? Really? Then when I text  back "ew. weird", you should probs quit it. Just don't do it, seriously. My name is Lauren, you can call me that. Thanks. I also got quite witty when he mentioned going out with me. Normal girls are like "oh yeah, I'd love to!"...Me? I give the response of "Maybe I'd let you buy me dinner." REALLY? Good job Lauren. I pat myself on the back for that one. So yes, outrageous comments as such do really come out of my mouth. Then I ponder on the fact that there is probably not a guy out there that could handle me but if there is, he'll be fully entertained til death do us part.

I wish I had more time to write about the other 84588 ridiculous things that have happened to me recently but I need to dance in my room to Starships by Nicki Minaj (it really pumps up my day) and I need to make my bed, go to class, eat more cookies and drink more wine. As you can tell, it's gonna be a busy day.

Special shout out to my roomie because she told me I was amazing 17 times yesterday. Do something awesome and maybe you'll get a shout out in my blog? Work on it.

241 <3