So I always tell everyone that I live in BFE and it's boring but really I'm lying. I'm constantly entertained by the weird shit I see around here. Mule plowing is in fact one of my favorites. Drive thru beer stores are a close second. And you would be astonished at the cultural diversity that is surrounding these parts. I've learned quite a few things in my months here:
1. If a Spanish native speaker tries to talk to me in English I can't actually understand a single word and just nod and laugh like an idiot. Que Pasa?
2. English people use phrases like "That shit is wank!" which is equivalent to an American saying "That's crazy shit!" They also refer to boyfriends/girlfriends as "birds" - "Did you see how ugly his bird was?" Sounds pretty weird to me.
3. I fit in great with the Afro Americans because well ya know, I know all their music. But don't drive to local spots blaring that kind of music...Childish Gambino and Lil Wayne are NOT inappropriate, what are they talking about?!?!
4. The white people around here are rich, inbred and they will insult your clothes no matter how cute you look. They all hang out at the local gas stations talking gossip and if you, a non local, pull up you will be subjected to stares that say "GET OUT, YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE." I hate the stares from the locals.
5. Nothing, and I mean, NOTHING beats the Irish people romping around these parts. Especially, the young gentlemen, or lads, whatever you wish to call them...And so my entry begins...
I would say these Irish dudes as I have decided to call them live up to the stereotype - drunken charming adorable dudes with accents that make a girl weak at the knees but nope, that's not really how they are.
However, the stereotype is spot on with the drunk part. These Irish dudes wake up and drink, go to work and drink, go to the bar (unless they are banned for a lifetime) and drink, go home and drink until they pass out. Then they wake up and repeat it the whole next day. There will be random days where they have decided to go "off the beer" but let's be honest, that doesn't last long. Their beer of choice I have noticed - Miller Lite (gag, gag, gag, gag). I'm not lying and I have gathered enough observation to prove that you will without a doubt see an Irish dude drinking Miller Lite at the bar. Really? You're from Ireland??!?! You can't pick a better beer? Gross.
Charming and adorable? Hardly. Okay, I lied. Sometimes they are until they ruin it with some sick comment that just makes you go "WOW." Furthermore, it could be followed by you falling on the floor and crying from laughing so hard. They are extremely friendly though. Within minutes of meeting them they will dangling themselves all over you and be playing with your hair. To which I give the response of "Stop touching my hair before I punch you" and they don't stop. Again, charming. They love the American brunette (can't say I blame them).
Does an Irish dude's accent really make a girl go crazy? Sometimes, yes but other times it's like WTF did you just say? Texting them is also really annoying because the accent just doesn't come through. Every sentence is followed by "so" - Well then what should I say, so. So? Why does that need to be there? Apparently it does. You is actually "ye" - See ye Saturday. Who is ye? Not me. But in all honesty, the Irish accent DOES work. It's hands down adorable and I'm usually like "Damn your Irish accent" in my head.
But you CANNOT fall for the charming, adorable, Irish accent no matter how hard it is because Irish dudes ain't NOBODY'S boyfriend. Nobody. Even if they have a girlfriend, they really don't. They will never come out and say if they have a girlfriend. Besides, the only reason they are dating her anyway is because she's a model, she's rich, she makes them food, etc. But they aren't going to the bar with her. She's sitting at home while they go out trolling for more defenseless American girls that love the accent. And they want to "break up with her anyway" because she's a controlling bitch that doesn't condone his lifestyle. Whatever you say, brah. Even the ones that really don't have girlfriends find themselves without a bar to go to anymore because they had one too many drinks and ended up groping the servers (the girl servers, I believe). Little do they know, that gets you banned from that bar for a lifetime around here. Bet they are on their way back to Ireland after that happens? Truth.
Point is ladies, don't fall for it. Irish dudes ain't nobody's boyfriend. It's not just you. It's a lifestyle for dem pimps.
Looks like Shamus has luck with the Irish dudes. They love his accent.
Until next time blog followers. Maybe I'll have some better life advice for y'all next time. Speaking of, this topic took me a month to come up with so if anyone has suggestions of things I should blog about let me know!
Shout out to my roommate who has figured out how to keep up with the Irish dudes - "Girlfriends of other guys are really just speed bumps." You right, You right.
