Did you know it's 4/20?

OMG FRIENDS, I'M SO SORRY! I can't believe I have gone 2 weeks without filling everyone in on the craziness that is my life. I was reminded this morning by my dad (we all know who my #1 fan is now) how I haven't blogged..."Lauren, why haven't you blogged recently?!?!" uhhhh oops.

But anyway, I'm back. A LOT has happened but most not blog appropriate so sorry if this is not really all that entertaining. If you want to hear all the other shenanigans ask me in person, cool.

I get off the phone with my dad, "Okay Dad, I'll go home and blog right now." My mom calls...it's always interesting when she calls but even I was caught off guard by this. "oh heeyyy Mommm." No hey, no nothing..."Lauren, do you know what 4/20 means, what does 4/20 mean?" HUH? So I told her it was international pot day and that she should probably not partake. She was not expecting that answer, bless her heart.  As you can tell I have REALLY interesting conversations with my parents. How can you not love them?!

We should talk about the song "Call Me Maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen...if you have yet to hear this song (which I doubt unless you NEVER turn on the radio), get on the internet machine and you tube it.  I'm currently listening to it right now. I also danced in the barn aisle and sang this song to a horse yesterday, sometimes I'm strange? yup. Needless to say, the horse did not call me. Back to my point! This gosh forsaken song plays 300 times a day and it's honestly terrible. I think this song is up there with "Friday" by Rebecca Black...and we all remember that shit show. The most ridiculous part is that if I hear "call me maybe" then I can't help but sing and dance. NO STOP IT! BUT I CAN'T! I'm doing it now. Like really, what the hell? Then to top it off, it gets stuck in my head for the next ten hours. GRRR I hate this song! Stop singing Lauren, you're just embarrassing yourself. I don't stop. Whatever. So if anyone pays money to have this song play at Hokie House next time I'm there, I will lose it. I'll be subjected to sing and dance where I will ultimately just make an absolute fool out of myself. So just DON'T play this song ever, and I mean ever. So here's my number so call me maybe...GAH! IT NEVER ENDS!

Next thing...what is this hashtagging shit that is all over the internet? It has got to stop. If you don't know what a hashtag is, no worries because NEITHER DO I. I just know people say a statement then go #andsayanotherstatementlikethis. CAN YOU READ THAT? Barely. It just doesn't make sense. For example, someone's facebook status could be "I have a migraine." Okay we get it, you have a migraine and that sucks. But no, you better follow that up with a hashtag cause you know, that makes a whole hell of a lot of sense. I have a migraine now become "I have a migraine. #thingsidontwannadealwith" WHY WAS THAT NECESSARY? I might be making a big deal out of nothing, but I just don't see the sense in hashtagging. More importantly, do not have a conversation in hashtag. I have a migraine, omg hashtag thingsidontwannadealwithhhh. YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW. I would say this goes along with spaghetti squash and the platypus but those things are cool, and hashagging? Not so much. I advise you not to talk to me in hashtag if this is something you do because you will get a response like...OMG STOP HASHTAGGING #hashtaggingisforbabiesandlooksdumbdoesntthislookdumbcauseyupitdoes. Sorry I'm not sorry. 


This is probably not my best blog entry but I couldn't leave you guys hanging anymore! I think it's time I shower though, I have been in my riding clothes all day. Cool.

Special shoutout to J. Gould cause I know she's out there somewhere doing the pancake danceee! YEAH.

Please enjoy this picture of me being absolutely terrified of this girl since my blog wasn't that funny today. I'll let you figure out why exactly I was so horrified. Some people's kids, I tell ya. 

241 <3

 

One day I'll learn to stop being so inappropriate...

Manners, take a second look and you'll see, there is no like meeee, thereee is no one like me, manners you better reconsider, cause you will never do better...

OKAAAYYYY I'm done singing but I can't stop dancing! If only you all could see me right now. I'm feeling pretty spritely. 

oh mah gurrrllll, it's Wednesdayyy. I am out of control now.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Wednesday, I know I am! Aside from the fact I wasted 30 minutes of my life standing in a barn because I'm too emotional about getting my hair wet in the rain. I've been called a diva several times this week...I'm starting to believe them? But when life gives you lemons, make lemonade or go to Cook-Out! The M&M milkshake is my new jam. OR apparently you can mix flavors? COOL. They should probs advertise that.

I have got to talk about things that don't make sense to me...the platypus and spaghetti squash. Y'all are probably thinking I'm some kind of crazy but lets think about this for just a hot second. The platypus is a mammal that lays eggs? WHAT? How much sense does that make? You're right, none. Spaghetti Squash? I didn't even know what that stuff was until Sunday. Riddle me how the hell a vegetable turns into pasta once you put it in the oven? I don't have any clue but I literally watched it happened. It delicious though so I'm not quite sure why I am questioning this. If you're wondering how these 2 subjects arose, let me fill you in. For those of you who don't know, I'm going to NATIONALS! Yup, that's right. So before I go in the ring I was instructed to figure out who my "goat" was. Apparently, goats keep you calm and collected before you horse show? I realized I didn't really like goats and we opted to go with "platypus." We referred to my platypus all day as God's joke...IT REALLY IS. So my goat gone platypus made jokes for the rest of the day, keeping me happy and on my way to Nationals! LOVE YOU PLATYPUS - GET THE BITCHES EXCITED! Spaghetti Squash? No real story, but it's pretty weird. Try it though, you'll be surprised by vegetable gone pasta. Just chalk these 2 subjects up to God's jokes and laugh a little.

Back to me being spritely...I have got to find a way to control myself. HA NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Damnit. But I need to blame someone, so sorry Mom you're it. Go listen to the song "I got it from  my mama" by Will I Am and you will fully understand cause I really did get it from my Mama. Maybe we were all just feeling a little too excited after I qualified for Nationals but I do not believe that gives us the right to say exactly what is on our minds. We're not a family that follows the rules, oops. For example, is it appropriate for me to walk up to Sewanne's open rider who looks like a gosh forsaken Ken doll (he's a straight guy for the record) and say "I love you, come take a picture with us." The answer is no. Did it work? You betcha. Good thing I had a wingman, C. Shaw ;) Our team now has a picture with him and he has his arm around me, winning. I then say (without thinking of course) "ummm you're pretty and we love you, but when I say we I really mean me. SEE YA AT NATIONALS." Then comes Mama...looks him up and down and goes "YOU ARE CAYHHHUTTEEEE!" OMGGGG. Mom, don't be such a coug. As my dad keeps his distance shaking his head. You should probs keep her on a leash, she's a wild one. Mom is now planning our wedding. Nationals might be interesting? I'll probably have another blog worthy story. Cool.

I was in a commercial this week. Let me tell you the things I learned...I AM NOT AN ACTRESS. I did mah hurrrr and my makeup, looking all commercial ready. When I get there, we are on top of a mountain...seriously. I should probably read my email but I didn't so my hair turns a hot mess in a matter of .5 seconds and I wore sandals. Losing. Anyway, cool. They called me a diva like 400 times, I highly doubt I'll ever be in another commercial. hahahaha.

I would go more in depth but Hokie House on  a Wednesday is calling my name. OBVS I GOTTA GO.

Shoutout to Jenola for introducing me to the "Mind your manners" song that I can't stop singing (see above) and dancing to. HOLLA.

241 <3